The Wanker Extraordinaire

i be that pretty sei chai lo.

Sat, 28 Jul 2012 20:51:06 -0400

nah man. violation doesn’t come close, the best way to describe the past week is a hazy blur of recently stirred emotion, jack daniels and menthol cigarettes. when you meet someone special, all you want to do is be with them, i know this is extremely cliche, but whether it be over the phone, skype or the brief time we actually had together i felt happy, distracted from the shit in life. basketball training was busy killing me for you to then drop me with that blow, softened slightly by a familiar embrace, but still a blow none the less. the next day was good, clothes always seem to make everything better, then wearing those clothes to get nice with some friends after a trek to benfleet. that half deck of fags and beer was well deserved i think. the kfc alex’s dad bought us was like crispy salvation. i mean it hurts like a bitch, but i can’t act like one, really, where will it get me? i’m still here.

Alex blowing mother fucking bubbles. (Taken with Instagram)

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 17:26:22 -0400

Alex blowing mother fucking bubbles. (Taken with Instagram)

i'm a lighting-rod for criticism.

Sun, 08 Jul 2012 18:09:39 -0400

right now i’m hoping that most of you have stopped paying attention to anything i post, unfollowed me or just lost interest. my mental state is unravelling at an alarming rate, yet nothing i can do can to prevent it. my family are just chaotic and do nothing but argue. my brother is eternally moaning, shouting and being unreasonable to the point in which he had a go at my sister for being in the shower after a weekend of camping. my sisters are just hell, ones an annoying hormonal cow who never shuts up complaining about my music, my tv shows and then wants to use my shit? fuck off. the other is actually the devil, out at all hours, talks to my mother like she’s a piece of shit and has no respect for anything whatsoever. my mother drives me insane. she gets herself so worked up because of decisions shes made, after making the most illogical ones, then takes it out on me! one thing that has never changed is my siblings get the more attention and money spent on them, this is partially due to the fact i very rarely ask for anything, but i also never get asked to do anything with her and if i do it’s to carry stuff for her. finally, there’s the one thing i can’t wait to see the back of, my father. this man only sees us once a week, we sit at his house for 4 hours doing nothing as he whines and complains about all the hours he works as a cab driver, making it seem like we are the cause of his struggles. it’s impossible to add a point that contradicts him as his evil northern irish voice instantly belittles you. i have an emotionally abusive relationship with my father, spend time with him he makes you feel bad, avoid him you feel responsible for his sadness. if you think that my family’s bad the funny thing is that my situation is simple too others, i can’t help but sigh and just think about how shit life has become. like today i got in from my dads, i headbutted my door and stamped through a shoebox because i was that frustrated. well on top of this i happen to be partially in the most dysfunctional clique possible. most of the group are boys, but there always seems to be a tag along. an itch. all i’m gonna say on the itch is, don’t invite your friends to chill/sleepover if you’re going to spend that time with your chick. other than that we’ve managed to grow up slightly despite the majority of the boys having the social skills of sensitive cavemen, like most of their shit is stuff i was dealing with in year 9. no hatred, just a bit of a peeve. they all bitch like it’s nobody’s business, so do i, but some of the shit becomes actually quite pathetic. i don’t need your shit on top of my own. after all of that comes girls. they absolutely get on my fucking tits. they feed on your attention. thrive on having you under the thumb and most of all see no problems with playing you. atm i can say that girls have told me straight and i have no reason to complain, but others who seem to find it standard procedure to stay up all night discussing love with boys who are none the wiser to your shit, to then say you’re not leading them on! seriously shaking my head. finally, i’m lucky to say i have my triangle that keeps me supported. as always shingi comes with his logic and advice that actually makes sense. kavita comes with her harsh but true statements which kick me up the arse. and aklas never fails to make me laugh.

fuck you all,

stan.

yes, no, maybe; I DON'T KNOW.

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 14:37:48 -0400

i haven’t written anything down in months. i had a rant which i quickly deleted to save my sanity. i always have a lot to say, on everything really. but let’s update everything: one exam left, two weeks to the exam, moving in a month and a bit and the finances are sorted. i have a new phone so occasionally a couple of photos will pop up from my instagram, follow me if you want @stanmartin. tbh i’m actually looking forward to the eurozone collapsing, the germans are just using it to increase their own gains, is it not obvious from them being to only country which is not going through sever economic hardship? also the EU is just a way to control governments which is absurd, why should the british parliament go through brussels to pass a DOMESTIC law. they speak of it bringing trade, what without the eu everyone would stop asking for our products? fuck off. anyways i’m gonna read the paper and be angry. grr.

stan

Taken with Instagram

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 09:33:33 -0400

Taken with Instagram

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 07:50:15 -0400

Taken with Instagram

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 14:54:02 -0400

Taken with Instagram

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 13:59:06 -0400

Taken with Instagram

Eh? (Taken with Instagram)

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 11:06:19 -0400

Eh? (Taken with Instagram)

the G5 ready...

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 18:25:59 -0400

i sit here on a come down from baking. 2 chainz bumping, anthony humping, alex bowsing and kaiman fizzing. i’m in such a good place atm. perfect balance between stress and bliss. tell you the truth life without agg/arguments is actually shit, i need some entertainment at other peoples expense. i will never care for some people. meh. i think i may have underestimated some of my friends, you have to give him props for the flak he takes, but would he still take that flak if he started acting with some pride? not ignorance pride? fuck it yolo his life an all. it annoys me when people take liberties actually. anyways i’m moving soon, so i have a list of shit to do:

Party

Girls

Kiss this one particular person

See everyone!

but hey ho this is the time we find our true friends right? take care

stan.

THAT’S THAT SHIT I DON’T LIKE.

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 17:11:02 -0400

THAT’S THAT SHIT I DON’T LIKE.

chayze.

Tue, 05 Jun 2012 15:36:06 -0400

chayze.

Photo

Wed, 30 May 2012 16:22:42 -0400

illmindofhaiasi: Stan you saucy cunt. How we do, pool in our...

Mon, 28 May 2012 14:45:06 -0400

illmindofhaiasi:

Stan you saucy cunt.

How we do, pool in our pants.

Photo

Mon, 28 May 2012 14:26:43 -0400

Photo

Thu, 24 May 2012 15:01:42 -0400

just walk away.

Wed, 23 May 2012 15:05:02 -0400

just walk away.

This time we’ll take it slow…

Mon, 21 May 2012 14:39:24 -0400

This time we’ll take it slow…

where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart?

Sun, 20 May 2012 15:33:23 -0400

i’m sat on the edge of my bath, listening to mumford & sons waiting for the water to surround me. i feel so tired, mentally drained, physically stiff and aching. why? i’ve slept a total of 19 hours of the past 2 nights but yet i find myself going to bed at quarter to 9? why does it have to be the week i have 7 exams in 5 days. i keep repeating that in my head and no rational decision comes to mind. another thing which keeps recurring is the foo fighters line ‘there’s no way back from hell’ ha. i don’t think there’s much i can do to feel better other than struggle through and have no excuses. the way my aspirations have gone from becoming a barrister and getting paid stupid amounts to wanting to be a fucking teacher just so i get stupid amounts of holiday. tbvh i think i just want to spend my measly existence enjoying what i can. i don’t want to work under people but if i’m directly working with a group of people i think i could at least give them some help. ironic init, the guy who could spend thousands on professional help, giving help. chuckle. i’m moving 300 miles away from anyone i know (minus grandparents) to live in a seaside town and have to go to a college where i know no one. i mean no one. in a place i know jackshit about. well that’s a nice finish of my formal education after 5 years in a innercity public shit hole where so many people who i’d consider the scum of the earth have been allowed to graze the grey stoned streets that pave this shithole. don’t get me wrong i love some of the people, some, with my whole heart, but will never be happier to get away from. but i guess life will find a way to give me bliss or bedlam. and to you! the sad cunt reading this, thank you for sharing in my hormonal ramblings. if you are someone who dislikes me, sorry but unless i haven’t apologized to you yet don’t be expecting one any time soon. no reasons in particular but i just dgaf. but to everyone in Brampton Manor Academy Class of 07-12, good luck, may the force be with you.

stan.

holyghostfyah.

Sun, 20 May 2012 11:06:13 -0400

holyghostfyah.