July 2012
3 posts
i be that pretty sei chai lo.
nah man. violation doesn’t come close, the best way to describe the past week is a hazy blur of recently stirred emotion, jack daniels and menthol cigarettes. when you meet someone special, all you want to do is be with them, i know this is extremely cliche, but whether it be over the phone, skype or the brief time we actually had together i felt happy, distracted from the shit in life....
i'm a lighting-rod for criticism.
[[MORE]]right now i’m hoping that most of you have stopped paying attention to anything i post, unfollowed me or just lost interest. my mental state is unravelling at an alarming rate, yet nothing i can do can to prevent it. my family are just chaotic and do nothing but argue. my brother is eternally moaning, shouting and being unreasonable to the point in which he had a go at my sister for...
June 2012
9 posts
yes, no, maybe; I DON'T KNOW.
i haven’t written anything down in months. i had a rant which i quickly deleted to save my sanity. i always have a lot to say, on everything really. but let’s update everything: one exam left, two weeks to the exam, moving in a month and a bit and the finances are sorted. i have a new phone so occasionally a couple of photos will pop up from my instagram, follow me if you want...
the G5 ready...
i sit here on a come down from baking. 2 chainz bumping, anthony humping, alex bowsing and kaiman fizzing. i’m in such a good place atm. perfect balance between stress and bliss. tell you the truth life without agg/arguments is actually shit, i need some entertainment at other peoples expense. i will never care for some people. meh. i think i may have underestimated some of my friends, you...
1 tag
May 2012
23 posts
where was my fault, in loving you with my whole...
i’m sat on the edge of my bath, listening to mumford & sons waiting for the water to surround me. i feel so tired, mentally drained, physically stiff and aching. why? i’ve slept a total of 19 hours of the past 2 nights but yet i find myself going to bed at quarter to 9? why does it have to be the week i have 7 exams in 5 days. i keep repeating that in my head and no rational...
holyghostfyah. →
blargh
i went to sleep at like 10 last night but i feel so go damned drained. it can’t be dehydration because i drink more water than an irishman does on paddy’s day, i eat like a horse and i get sleep. i know it must be exams. next week i have 7 in 5 days, which is daunting but i know i’ll be fine, i can wing english blindfolded but i’ll still read ofmiceandmen and the crucible....
hunger games = 1984 but shit.
i spent countless hours reading a series which basically rips off the best piece of orwells work. the concept is the exact same, but the hunger games gets scared and downgrades to a happily ever after remake of the great depiction of a totalitarian society. if you want to read something that doesn’t contain pointless ramblings of a characters ever changing fucking emotions, read 1984....
baby if you knew, the feelings i'd give to you.
don’t pay attention to the title, just a weeknd lyric. i’m feeling peculiar, i read a chapter of my book, revised for a solid 2 hours of biology and it’s ten to eight and i’m about to go to sleep. what’s going on? really. after school i got a spike in concentration. oh yeah! that’s because there’s nothing to distract me other than dinner. a mini sense of...
There will be tears.
in the post-yasmin era of my love life, i don’t think i’ve ever been someones priority. every time i expose my feelings it seems like whoever i’m seeing gets drunk with the ability push and pull me between pillar and post. i could understand if i was happy being used, in some situations it’s just what i need, but in others when feelings are made clear all i get is blank...
“Confession is not betrayal. What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings...”
– George Orwell, 1984 (via tinysailboat)
A broken heart is blind.
i like to sleep. more than that i like to dream. no creepy inception-mindfuck shit. but i like to dream because in life there will always be a situation where no matter what you do it just won’t work out. but pipe down because there’s always your dreams to scheme sunset picnics, lying under the stars and obv killing hitler.
phew.
i need to just vent this real quickly. i sit here in isaiahs room watching alex play call of duty as i realise how dissappointed i am. i’ll lie and say everything is fine but in reality i’m truly upset as i know no matter how hard i try, no matter how much you make me feel the way i want to feel we’ll be great together because you’ll never see that i’d run to the end...
April 2012
16 posts
my pc is called jesus (hey-zeus)
if i cut off conversation on skype, fb or anything internet related it’s because this little bastard can barely handle paint let alone live streaming shit.
Be somebody.
you might not notice it, but over the past 2-3 months i’ve managed to completely seperate myself from the fights/drama/bullshit. i talk to shingi alot about these arguments and he’s always said the same thing, ‘i am not involved’. now i’ve tried it i can truly say, those words are the main reason i’m still friends or manage to function with half the people i...
*sigh*
all i have in this world is my friends, family and my pride. i mean i have clothes, books and technology but none of that means nothing in life does it? you can have all the money in the world but if it makes you more happy than spending time with friends or me being too sentimental, just sitting and staring at the stars. no matter how hard you work, no matter how much you grind your fingers to...
Brick brick, swag swag.
i haven’t blogged in a while, thought i’d just update you lot who read this thing on my holidays. i spent most of last week doing history coursework, basketball and shopping. this week i honestly did fuck all. other than katerinas birthday which made me skint. i chilled with isaiah quite alot. went to westham. that’s all really.
Wow.
i’m sitting here having just finished a piece of coursework which in total has taken me 6 hours, 2 cans of monster, 1.5 litres of water and a whole packet of airwaves; what have i learnt? that historians would see the impact of martin luther kings assassination. is this life? fighting depression and trying hard to be resilient in the face of monotony? is this life? going to school everyday...
you sir, are full of shit.
you can’t claim to be friends then pick and choose what you tell us. i mean we have our opinions but it doesn’t mean we’re not gonna be supportive of whatever you decide to do. we may poke fun, but i’ve always known you have a soft spot for her. it’s been blatant since day one. i mean, personally i don’t care what you do/who you be with, but how long did you...
1 tag
seasons change, but people don't.
i absolutley hate when people assume. especially my friends, they always assume ‘argh he’s busy’ ‘he’ll be with ____’, don’t ask me then. it’s cool though.
